Budapest: Hey, At Least They're Not Totally Naked

Do you have qualms about jumping into an unchlorinated pool full of strangers? Do you become squeamish at the sight of elderly men in Speedos?

What's that? You don't? Well then, head on down to the Hungarian bathhouse!

I sure did. I spent the afternoon at the Szchenyi (no idea how to pronounce it) baths, the largest and most popular bathhouse among many in Budapest. The city sits right on top of a number of thermal springs, which the Ottomans took full advantage of to engender this cultural habit.

The experience was gross, fun, awkward, and relaxing all at the same time. As I mentioned, the pools are not chlorinated. Supposedly, the water is not recycled like it is at the one in your neighborhood, but rather, constantly drained and replaced with fresh, mineral-rich water from the springs. (Nonetheless, posted signs constantly remind guests to shower with soap before getting into a pool or sauna . . . Honor system?) At any rate, it's probably safe to say that Szchenyi would not have remained in business so long if people got diseases there. (I'll keep you updated.)

The huge complex features three outdoor pools, several indoor pools at varying temperatures, steam rooms, a fitness center, and probably some other stuff, but the layout of the building was so confusing that that's all I saw. There were indeed a good number of old-timers flaunting their goods, but Szchenyi, along with being the most popular bathhouse, is also the most clothed. Apparently Budapest offers other, more . . . um . . .  "traditional" set-ups as well.

In addition to soaking up the minerals with dozens of my closest international friends, I decided to indulge in a Thai massage while I was there. Thai massage is the one where they lull you into a deep state of relaxation by rubbing you down with oil, then have you sit up and proceed to punch you like they're tenderizing a piece of meat.

But yes, when all is said and done, the bathhouse is definitely a worthwhile use one's time in Budapest. It's deeply cultural, and at the same time, great for what ails the tired tourist.

Budapest: The Cool Kid on the Bloc

If Paris and New York moved to Istanbul and had a baby, it would be Budapest. And if you understood that metaphor, congratulations, because I only sort of do. 

Budapest looks vaguely like Paris to me due to its plethora of tall, ornate buildings. The architecture is more varied, however. During the city's construction heyday in the late nineteenth century, Neo-Historicism was all the rage, meaning that architects picked and chose their designs from whatever past era they felt like. Hence, the Parliament building's crimson Renaissance-style dome is surrounded by a multitude of Neo-Gothic spires, and a flat, glossy Art Nouveau exterior coexists with the bas relief-ridden Baroque façade next door. 

But the city feels gritty and urban, as if it were dreaming of New York. Budapesters are sassy and tough. During the 70s and 80s, even the Communist regime was a little afraid of them, and began to allow the Hungarians more freedoms than other satellite states in order to keep their rebellious spirit at bay. 

The influence of the Ottomans, who occupied Hungary for a century and a half, can be seen in the cultural details. Soaking in one of the city's many Turkish baths is a top activity for tourists and locals alike. The food combines Eastern spices and fruits with Germanic meat and potatoes into something slightly exotic and utterly delicious.  

Above all, Budapest is itself: stubborn in its uniqueness, it forces the traveler to conform to its customs, not the other way around. In other words, it's very, very cool. 

Budapest: Why You Should Be Happy that You Can Vote

The "House of Terror" museum was, appropriately, terrifying.

Or rather, moving. Or haunting. All of the above.

The neoclassical building that houses the museum sits right on the "Hungarian Champs-Élysées", Andrassay Út. It makes one wonder if people strolled this boulevard in the fifties and sixties like they do now, and if so, if they knew that hundreds of people were being murdered in the building next to them.

The structure served as the headquarters of the Nazi's Arrow Cross (like the Gestappo) during WWII, then of the Soviets' AVO (like the KGB) from then until the late 1960s. The museum serves as a chilling guardian of the memories of that time as well as a memorial to the victims.

You start the tour on the second floor. In the atrium below, a rusty Soviet tank hints at what's to come. This floor gives an overview of the Nazi and Soviet eras in Hungary. Particularly chilling is a room containing a dining table set with china bearing the Arrow Cross emblem and, standing at the head like a host, a mannequin in Nazi uniform. The difference between civilization and humanity has never been drawn so clearly.

The middle floor focuses more on the Soviet regime. The old surveillance equipment and presentation of gulags render the subsequent displays of communist propaganda nauseating.

From here, an attendant lets you into a glass elevator. The doors shut and everything goes dark. A TV screen lights up with the image of the building's former janitor describing (with English subtitles) the execution process. The door opens, and you fin yourself in a damp-smelling stone basement: the prison, torture, and execution rooms.

The guidebook having warned me that this was coming, I read through this part of the tour before getting on the elevator in case I needed to walk through it quickly. Specially-designed prison cells, electric cables, out-of-use gallows: the basement puts the "terror" in the museum's name.

Finally, you enter a room commemorating the anti-communist uprising of 1956. Then a room about the 200,000 Hungarians who fled the country after the brutal suppression of said uprising, most of them to America (a woman sings "Dreams Are Made of This" in Hungarian through the speakers). Finally, video screens show footage of the last Soviet military officers leaving Hungary in 1991-- the soldiers look as relived as the citizens. The tour ends with a memorial to the victims and an accusatory hallway displaying photos of the bureaucrats who killed them.

The museum does an amazing job of transmitting both the knowledge and the horror of those times to the visitor. You can practically feel the Hungarians' personal outrage against their former oppressors as you walk through.

This is a positive step in the country's quest to deal with its dark history-- and the first time I've seen such a thing on my trip to the former Soviet Bloc. I never heard the word "communism" in Bratislava. The city's history museum focused on its 19th-century Golden Age and ended with the 1920s. I hate to think what happened there.

Vienna: Notes from Sacher

This morning I paused, undecided, right in the crossfire on the street between Starbucks and Café Sacher. I walked to Sacher. Looked in the window at tourists eating cake. Back to Starbucks, almost caved for a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Finally, chose to do the cultural thing and entered Sacher.

Sacher is where I'm writing from now. I have to say: so far, I'm pleasantly surprised. Guidebooks had lead me to expect old-world stuffiness crossed with a tourist attraction, but the atmosphere is actually somewhat laid-back. It's not as packed as I'd feared. (Maybe the competition across the street has something to do with that.) It's pretty small, too, just a gathering of high-top tables around a horseshoe bar. Jazzy, reggae-type music wafts from the ceiling. Of course, the primary clientele consists of tourists eating cake. The waiter speaks perfect and easy English. But it's okay. It's even-- dare I say-- comfortable.

The downside is that it's way overpriced. (Small avocado salad: ten euros. Lukewarm hot chocolate: five.) Starbucks may also be overpriced, but at least there you have the satisfaction of a big hot cup to go with the big hot price.

So now that I've had my dose of ambience . . . Back to Starbucks for my eight ounces of caffeine.

Vienna: Rise of the Green Mermaid

Vienna was the original gateway for Europe's favorite drug, coffee. The Ottomans brought it with them when they invaded the city in the Middle Ages. Hey, they may have pillaged and plundered-- but they left some tasty, tasty brew. Eventually, the beverage migrated its way across Europe, including to Paris, where (so I've read) it has been partially credited for the sudden burst of mental activity called the Enlightenment.

With such a long history, the Viennese coffee house has understandably become an institution. And it doesn't get much older or more institutional than Café Sacher. This café, once home to the world's greatest chocolate cake (before HoHos were invented), now serves its rather dry sweets and overpriced coffee to tourists.

Across the street, a younger, hipper institution serves its dry sweets and overpriced coffee to tourists: Starbucks. In 2003, the company chose to locate its first branch in Vienna right across from one of the most venerated coffee houses in the city. The sheer ballsiness of Starbucks' move offended the Viennese, and the coffee Decepticon was not able to open as many locations as planned.

As far as I've seen, however, every Starbucks in the city (especially the one across from Sacher) is packed. And not just with tourists. It seems the Viennese have discovered the beauty of free wifi and portable coffee on a cold day. It's not quite as ubiquitous as in the States, but judging by the discrepancy between Vienna's initial disgust and its popularity today, it's only a matter of time before the green mermaid conquers all.

Vienna: You Might Be Pecking Last

The tourist trail of Vienna is dominated by the Hapsburg imperial family, who ruled various swaths of Europe for 800 years or so. I toured the elaborate, Versailles-style staterooms of one of their residences, the Albertina (which is also an art museum). The audio guide told me that at least one Hapsburg had lived there until the end of World War One. Can you even imagine? Louis XVI was kicked out of Versailles in 1789, but Austria had a ruling monarchy until well into the twentieth century! Anachronism, to say the least.

According to a particular book on Viennese culture, the incredible longevity of Austria's imperial culture translates today into an obsession with titles and hierarchy. Fortunately, I won't have the chance to experience Austrian bureaucracy, where apparently this makes life miserable. But one can still get a hint of it upon closer examination of the day-to-day. Yesterday was the first time I have ever seen well-dressed men wear white gloves-- and not for warmth or as part of a uniform. It's also easy to see by looking in the window which cafés are intended for the white-gloved. No matter where you go, people will most certainly be polite and speak English to you without getting huffy about it. Nevertheless, it may also be clear that you, the tourist, are a slug. And you will be seated at a small table improbably nestled between the restroom door and a wall and which is labeled "Reserved" for slugs. (Literally. Speaking from experience here.) Again, people are very nice in general and you will be treated well. There is simply a pecking order, and depending on how you look, little doubt as to your place in it.  

A Nerd's Love Letter to Vienna

Are you the kind of person who would DVR a History Channel special while you went to the theater? Then Vienna is your candy store, my friend.

Cultural offerings abound at all price points (12-euro opera tickets, anyone?). There are more museums and churches and historical sites than you could possibly shake a stick at. So many, in fact, that even with a full week in Vienna, I will not end up seeing everything I wanted to. This realization followed me in a cloud of remorse yesterday. Until, gradually, it dawned on me that will never be enough time. Vienna is like Paris: you can only measure your experience in amount of time spent, not in number of sights seen. So, one week down. More to come.